Ok so I am behind again

I did complete day 6 I just need to write it and I am going on to day 7. I still have not gotten a list of day 5 things (procrastinator) So I will be back this weekend to blog about the 2 days today we are taking Breven to see Madagascar he has been waiting 6mo for this movie so its a special day for him.

More day 5

Well I asked Brad almost a week ago to give me my list of 3 things and so far only 1. So I am moving to day 6 today and continuing to ask him for his list of 3. As for that one thing he says its my lack of organization. My cabinets tend to get messy and so does our room. So if anyone has any ideas to help me please pass them along!

On a good note Sunday Brad moved all of his things back home and has now officially moved back in. It feels good to have him back. I am not saying that things are perfect we still have work to do but its better then it was.

I want to thank everyone who has prayed for us and helped us out through all of this. I also ask that you continue to pray for us because there is still work to be done.

Where have I been???

OK so most of you are wondering what happened did I give up or what? Nope I have not given up! Brad has been out of town and he never gave me my 3 things list and I didn't give him his but I do plan on doing that tonight so I can move on to day 6. Not that I couldn't have come back to day 5 and move forward but I want to stay on track.

Thursday a very good friend of mine Tonda and I went and saw Fireproof. Needless to say we were both crying at the end. It was such a touching movie and to see what I was reading and doing being done and working was an awesome feeling. Some of the first days I have to say I felt just like the main character. I didn't put as much in as I should have so that's why I am taking the time to do day 5 and make it serious.

Friday morning I thought Brad was in meetings all day but he surprised me and the kids by showing up at my mom's at 7:30am for breakfast. He got up extra early and drove home to see us before he had to be back at his office. It was so awesome to see him and to see that he got up early and sacrificed sleep to come see us.

Today he is out dirt bike riding with his friends which it was hard to let him go and not throw a total fit over it I mean he has been gone since Wednesday and this week he had to work late an extra night. But I did it and I didn't say anything negative(day1) and he actually said since I didn't say anything about him going it makes him want to come home sooner and he is not staying out overnight like the person who invited him had asked. So I guess this is starting to work for us.

My plan is to continue this 40 day journey the best I can but it may take more then 40 days but that's OK. Tonight we are having a talk about those 3 things that bother us and I have some heartfelt things that I need to say to him.

Day 5 Love is not rude

Day 5's thought is Love is not rude. You know those little things you do that annoy, bother or make your spouse uncomfortable those are considered rude. When we first started dating everyone had that face or that persona we would put on so that we were not rude or didn't hurt their feelings what happens to that when we get married? We can be pouty and mad one minuet but when the doorbell rings we are all smiles well that's basically the concept for day 5.

We need to go back and think of the things we do that bother the other partner and try to stop doing them. Simple enough right? Wrong after years of doing this it becomes a part of your routine and you have to make a conscious effort to change what you do.

The task for day 5 was to ask your spouse to tell you 3 things that bother them or make them un comfortable without justification for your actions try to change them to the best of your ability. I asked Brad to do this for me and I never got an answer before he left (he is out of town until Friday for work) but he did something odd he asked me to do the same for him.

I am working on his 3 I know one for sure is to work on his letting me know where he is and when he will be returning. He will say I am going to home depot and that turns into a trip to home depot, wal-mart, the auto parts store and fast food. But if he would have told me he was doing all of that I wouldn't have made lunch or what ever I was waiting on him for because it was supposed to be a short trip. Also it drives me nuts when he doesn't let me know he will be late for dinner I try to feed Breven on time and I wait for him and if he is late that interrupts and we eat cold dinner.

So tomorrow I hope to have my list finished while he is gone and I plan to continue to do things from the previous days while he is gone. I find myself missing him now when he isn't home. But some good news is he took his name off the call out list for the desert! That's exciting because he has never said no to a call out since he has started this job.

Day 4 Love is thoughtfull

Remember in the beginning when you thought about your spouse all the time? When you would call just to check in or to see how their day was? When you truly love someone you think about them in everything that you do all day long. I remember calling him every day then he would get mad at my calling and I just got too busy to call.

So day 4 asked me to call him with no agenda just to see how his day was going and to see if there was anything I could do for him. When I did he liked that I had called and he had nothing for me to do. If felt nice to lift his spirits a little because it wound up being a long day and night for him.

I plan to continue to do this if not a call then at least a text to see how his day is going. Maybe even a funny picture of the kids during the day.

I am going to have to do the texts the next few days as he will be out of town for work in meetings and staying in a hotel.

He is working on moving his stuff back home and spending more time here with us and me in the coming weeks.

The Weekend

Well I held off on reading any further because we had a hectic weekend planned. Saturday my Aunt and Grandma came out for the kids baptism and Brad was helping an Aunt and Uncle move (no not the ones that dis-invited me to Christmas) then Sunday was booked with Church and lunch after.

So I worked really hard on day's 1-3 things to put them into regular practice. I made sure to be less negative, to be nicer and to think of the little things. Which I did and I can feel us getting closer as days go on. I know he has made some changes and his heart has opened. I think the kids baptism has really made a difference for him.

He is pretty much moved back home he has not stayed away at all this week and he may be moving his stuff back soon. He has a trip out of town for work and we both said we will actually miss each other a lot this time.

So I just read day 4 and will have that posted tomorrow.

Day 3 Cont.

So last night I made Brad's frame and got the pictures all together and he came home last night and liked his surprise! This morning since Breven was at my mom's I had time to sleep in so I got up at 5am when he got in the shower and made him a surprise lunch. When he came out he was surprised by the lunch (I hate packing lunch) and then he said "I wish you would have told me I am going out to lunch today" well it turned out OK he had it for breakfast instead.

I am beginning to feel like we are making a better connection and that things are truly looking up this time. Last night he went shopping for new clothes and was actually excited to show me and I was excited to see them. Marriage counseling is going much better then the last round and this person seems to understand us and our situation better and the fact that he is Christian and has a background in theology doesn't hurt.

This weekend is the kids baptism on Sunday he is going with us and we registered with the Church as a family at his request. He is even going to get our first picture as a family of 4 that day. We are also looking forward to taking holiday pictures this year.